Waiting...

It's a go yay!!! We were able to get the bus ticket and now we just have to wait until the date to take him to Joplin to go. The 27th. Ugh!!! That seems so far away!!! But at least I know that it is a done deal. I hate to feel this way, but I want my house back. I want to be able to get in there and clean and know it's going to stay like that because I won't feel the need to hide in my room all the damned time. Which I do now. Basically because the house is trashed and it just irritates me to no end to have to go in there. I guess the reason is becasue there is a supposed "adult" in there and they can't stay on top of 3 teenage girls to keep it at least picked up. I'm not talking spotless, but at least to where I am not totally ashamed to have anyone come over. I am just thankful my people don't look at that when they do come. None the less it is mortifying. Why don't I do something about it? Why? I mean, if no one else wants to help me keep it clean then why bother right now? And I am not speaking so much of my children. I want to be able to clean with the least amount to stress. And honestly that isn't going to happen, if there are other adults just sitting on their asses while the kids do all the work. No, I would rather wait until he leaves and Derek is at work. Then me and the kids can just get in the zone and clean. The girls are excited to finally have the prospect of getting their room finally cleaned out so that they can have at least a little space to their own. And I am too. I really am a hermit for the most part, but even I don't want to be in my room for 24/7. I would like to be able to go into the livingroom and kick back with the kids and watch TV. Or play on the laptop. Or just whatever. But someone always seems to have something else going on out there. And right now, I can't go in there to relax. There's just too much crap everywhere. It's ridiculous. Yes, the kids should know better, but if the adults aren't setting the right example, then you can't actually expect them to clean up after themselves. And actually what is going on...the kids aren't cleaning. People have gotten into the habit of having them as their little servants and basically the kids are done. I can't blame them. I didn't have them and raise them to be anyone's damned maids!!! Yeah...that's not flying so well. And Nik is old enough now that she has very little issue telling anyone so.

And I want to move too. But I know that isn't going to be likely until at least tax time. So, it's not a pressing issue. I think once we get things settled and situated here, we will be okay for the time til. Or even if we will. This is a really cute trailer and could be such again...sigh...did I forget to mention that patience IS NOT one of my strong points? lol That's a big issue. I want it all and I want it NOW!!! I know, I know...Hoping things will level out soon. There's no reason why it shouldn't actually. Just have to work at it.