Newspaper Nail Art

Personally I like them lol

They actually give the nail polish a grey tint. Not the yellow my flash does.

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Catching up lol

Hey, I know, I know I am getting really bad about keeping this updated. Though rest assured nothing overly news worthy has been happening lately lol

I have decided to go ahead and close my Facebook accounts. There's just too much whining and drama on there for me. Most people don't want to know EVERY SINGLE DAY how depressed and crappy your life is. And half the time it's all just for show and sympathy anyways. I can't do it anymore. I have gotten to the point that even going there annoys the hell out of me. So, as of tomorrow, I will no longer be a part of the alustrious Facebook community. Good riddance!!!

I have started my own YouTube channel. tat2dmama5 ... Partially for fun and partially because it is getting harder and harder for me to actually type my blog :( my wrists are getting worse and that's no bueno for me. I love to write :'(. I have got a program called Speech to Text on my phone. I haven't tried it out yet, but I will. Then I dunno what to do about my actual writing. May have to let the pain determine how long I write at a time :(

Since going out and getting a "real" job is pretty much a no go at the moment, I have decided to go ahead and give selling on Ebay a shot. Pretty excited about it actually. Now if I can just keep my little fat fingers of the BID button ugh!!! lol

XOXOXOXO
Stacy D. Mckinney

Nnn

Nnnnn

Location : High St, Noel, MO 64854,

Under Quarantine and other things

Well, not feeling so good today :( I was really hoping that the whole flu epidemic we have going on around here would have passed me up, buuuuttt I think it has found me out. The chills, the fever, the stomach and body aches suck so bad :'( And I do believe that Gremmy is got the doggy flu :( He gets up and plays but not for long. Poor guy. But I think he will be okay.

Biggin is another story. He was gone for almost two weeks. When he came home he was really skinny and just kind of tired. I just thought it was because he was gone so long. Now I am not sure. He throws up everything he eats and he is having seizures!!! We had Mischief who would starve herself and do the same thing. The throwing up and having seizures. I am hoping it will run it's course and he will be okay again. We checked him. And there's no sign of worms, which is good, but still makes what could be wrong with him a mystery.

Trying to get ahead since Derek is putting in sooooooo much overtime now. I know it is financially hard on everyone right now and that makes me sooooooo sad :( I would like to think it's all because we all suck at managing money and we will be able to pull ourselves up out of the holes we are in, but I don't think that's it. I seriously think that with today's economy we are all going to be able to "barely scrape by". And that will be living good for some of us.

I know there's some out there that would like to believe that if I just got off my ass and got a job we would be fine. And that's probably true and would be a fine solution if I could do it :( Physically I can't. I can hardly use my hands without excruciating pain anymore. Scrambling eggs almost puts me in tears. I can't stand or sit for long periods at a time because my kidneys hate me. And migraines are getting more and more frequent.

Mentally I really don't think I can do it either. I have what I thought was a slight case of aghorophobia. Turns out I don't think it's so slight anymore. Just the thought of being out in public alone sends me into a damned panic attack. I don't know why. But it stands to reason, I suppose. I am schitzophrenic. But I hadn't progressed to paranoid yet. Maybe that's what's going on. Which in no way is a good thing, but knowledge is key in learning how to cope. I've already went through the other stages of denial with it. Now I need to just accept it and move on. Maybe a change in medication is needed. Send my voices on yet another experimental acid trip lol

I'm not bitter lol nobody is perfect. I have chosen to accept what is to be and learn to cope with what I can. I do, however, mourn for those who have had to go through this with me. It hasn't been easy at all for them. Mood swings, depression, OCD rampages, and my voices. I know it has had to have taken it's toll. Derek is a godsend. He acceptance me for me and all my not so little quirks. I don't know how he does it, but I am glad he does. Makes life a little more easier to cope with. The kids do their best. They really do. But it has to be hard. I know I am horrible at times and they usually catch the brunt of it. Not their faults that every little thing at times tends to art me off. :( And my friends...for them I don't know why they love me, but I am glad every single day they do. I wouldn't have made it this far in life without them I am sure. They have been there when I knew I needed them and been there when I didn't know I did :) I love them sooooooo much!!!

Location : High St, Noel, MO 64854,

Catching up...

I swear if I spent as much time blogging as I do changing this damn thing, it would be so much more productive. But noooo, my OCD has it's moments and if one little thing doesn't look right, then the whole thing has to be changed. I know crazy right?!?!?

But somethings just can't seem to be helped lol We learn to accept who we are and for what we are. Either that or we drive ourselves absolutely batshit crazy and really take a swan dive of the proverbial high dive. Yeah, since I am terrified of drowning, I am thinking this is not so much of an option for me. Nope, I have to learn to keep a float regardless.

But on a brighter note, that of course comes with it's draw backs. Derek is now getting all the overtime he could possibly want. Which on the plus side, means extra $$$ coming in and maybe being able to get out of this hole and ahead again. But that also means that he is not home much anymore. All because stupid people who shouldn't even be in maintenance can't do their damned jobs!!! The machines keep going down and I guess that means an excesss in downtime and upper management is not happy about it. I don't even understand how these people can keep their jobs. I know it's job security for those that do their jobs right, but damn!!!

But other than that little bitch lol things are actually going pretty good. Waiting for spring to kick in full blast so I can get this carpet replaced. It's pretty nasty, not going to lie. And the kitchen and dining room floors need tile or something in them. It's doable, but when you are on a budget and time schedule it takes alittle time. I will post before and after photos when it gets underway.

More good news, we are hoping. Supposedly Rick now has a job!!! I know right?!?!? Not going to go on my usual rant on that subject right now. We all know exactly what I do and don't think of him, but I am hopeful for the kids. There's so much that they want and need that we alone can't get for them. It would be nice to be able to do it.

Derek busts his ass 60+ hours a week to take care of me and the kids. Never bitches about it and tries to remain positive. I really don't think it is too much to ask that their biological sperm donor actually puts alittle in every so often to help.

Anyways...before I go off on a tirade here, I am going to sign off lol