Well, this is interesting...

Out of the kindness of my heart (and a desperate need for more space for me, Derek, and the kids), I offered to go out back to my daddy 's old work shop and start cleaning it out for my mom. There's paint,chemicals and stuff out there that needs to be disposed of. Get it all fixed up so it could be used for either an office for me OR to start getting the garage cleaned out. Needless to say...that pissed her off enough that she was a royal bitch to everyone and barely spoke to me for 2 days!!! What really gets me is she has been wanting this done and that was the original plan when we came over here.

She is not understanding that the VERY small room Derek and I share is NOT by any means big enough. We have 5 peoples stuff in there because there's nowhere else we are allowed to put it. Poor Mocha has no room to run because she doesn't want him loose. And a home business that's working out ALOT better than I thought it would, that requires inventory. All crammed in there. Right now I feel like a serious hoarder because we have to literally climb over the bed from the door to get anywhere. This is driving me nuts!!!

So, my solution...we are taking down our bed tomorrow and putting it in the garage. Derek went to Walmart and got us one of those double air mattresses. I figure this way I can take it down during the day so I can actually get around. Going to do some serious rearranging and organizing so I can also have my desk area and shelves for work. Whatever. Basically we are going to be sleeping in my office, but it's the only solution I can think of right now to where everyone is at least kept somewhat happy.

Not having my room the way I want is a HUGE issue for me. I am suppose to be able to relax in there. Total sanctuary. Kinda hard to do that when you have a pile of CLEAN clothes headed up the wall on one side and a desk being used as a catch all on the other...UGH!!!

Okay...I am pissed!!!

What kind of f'ing parent bashes a child in public and then tells there own child that if she doesn't play narc and/or brat the sh*t out of another child that they will be in trouble. I know Tazia is by no means an innocent little angel, but I was reading the texts as they were being sent to her via my phone and there was ABSOLUTELY no reason for all of this!!! It boils down to they are basically using her asa scapegoat for their family's own dysfunction. WTF?!?!

I don't understand why parents feel they need to be involved in a teenage relationship. There's no physical or mental abuse. The kids absolutely adored each other and were extremely happy. Now they are both miserable and heart broken. I just don't get it at all :'(

Insomnia sux :(

I can't sleep :'( I really do try most of the time. Other times I just give in and get back up. Wish I could blame it on me screwing my days and nights up, but no...I don't sleep all day, even though my body is saying I could. My mind won't shut up!!! Right now every time I close my eyes, I am thinking of what I would do if I could totally gut all the excess sh*t in this house. Enter my OCD :( UGH!!! I am once again beyond tired with no relief in sight...*yawn*...story of my life.

Hoarding

Okay...my mom's theory on hoarding is...that you can still see her floor, therefore she isn't a hoarder. Uh huh? I personally don't care how neat and clean the place is. If you have boxes of crap you have bought stuffed into every empty space and you cannot walk in the garage because it is packed with more boxes of sh*t, also let's not forget the storage building she's had for the last ten years. To which she has absolutely no clue what's in there at this point...that is a HOARDER. Plain and simple. She has so many boxes of stuff she has bought and put in the garage, she doesn't know what's where. Duplicates of stuff because she didn't remember buying them before because she can't find them...sigh :( Her bedroom literally is basically a path to her doors because it's crammed packed.

She is a major reason why I started throwing so much sh*t away. I was headed in that direction and it scared me. I didn't want to be 60+ years old and buried alive under a bunch of worthless stuff. Afraid to have my friends and family over. Now mom has her stuff all nice and pretty, but there's just soooo much of it!!! EVERYWHERE!!! Which is playing Hell on my OCD. I want to go through and pretty much empty this house. But OMG!!! You can't throw nothing away without written consent around here. Grr!!!

My time to whine...

Unfortunately reality is a mean SOB. Instead of letting me go on blissfully denying the ever obvious fact that I will be 40 this year. And that I was none to careful with the way I abused my body over the years. (Who knew I would actually live this long?!? I had myself dead and buried by 30!!!) It decides to start dropping the not so subtle (and often painful) hints about my lack of better judgment when I was younger.

1: Might as well start with the reason I am even up at this horrid hour. My knees and elbows are killing me :( Especially since we have had a storm front park its a** on top of us. Arthritis it seems has made me its new BFF. Years of waiting tables has come back to bite me in the a**.

2: Which leads to the second reason I don't sleep most nights. Years of working in the chicken plants has blessed me with carpal tunnel and gangolian cysts in both hands. Most of the time when I try to go to sleep, they beat me to it and start throbbing. Which then leads to the pressure pain. Forget about writing for any amount of time or cooking. Surgery is NOT an option. Just for the simple fact there's a good chance I could lose the use of my hands all together.

3: My kidneys. Well, I believe that the issues I have with them maybe caused by a medication I had to take when I was little. They are getting worse. Infections are more often and the lower back pains are almost constant. There's not much to be done at this point but take the antibiotics and wait. Dialysis is almost a certain factor in my future.

4: My pancreas. This issue is rather new. Seems I have pancritis. Or however it is spelt. It's more annoying than anything.  What I eat depends on how long I get to be bathroom bound and how long I will have an acid reflex assault.  Red meat and spicy food are the worst.

I always wondered why it seemed older people always got up before the sun. I couldn't figure out what was so damned important that they needed to be up so early. I think I have that little mystery figured out. It's not that they are up per say. Chances are they were awaken by some nagging pain. Or they haven't even been to sleep yet.

5: Insomnia. I have always had it. But it seems that the older I get, the harder it is becoming for me to fall asleep at all :( Days without any sleep, decent or otherwise makes for a very grumpy me.

I feel like a lion with a thorn in its paw. *RAWR*

Tazia's nails

White lace and bows with pink, grey, and purple hearts. Soooo cute!!!

Fishing...

Well...the thought was a good one. I actually hate to fish or be involved anymore than the eating of them, but I was really looking forward to some quality time with Derek. But unfortunately the wind is just a tad bit too nippy for me to want to sit out in :( Temperature seems to be dropping pretty quick too. Nice night to sleep, not so much to fish for me lol

Nail Art-flowers

Gorgeous design :)

Extremely proud of my nails

Just wanted to share a moment lop

Laundry, laundry, and more laundry

Never ending, I swear!!! Course it doesn't help that I hadn't realized that there was a water leak or something going on in our laundry room at the other house...grr!!! So, now I basically have to rewash every single item of clothing we have. BUT this is not necessarily a bad thing. I have been going through clothes and separating them into 3 categories. Keep, trash, and Ebay. So, it  definitely makes that easier somewhat.

I am actually encouraged by my Ebay venture. I have sold 3 things so far and even after Ebay takes their cents, I have managed to make $70!!! I am so excited about that. And I have sooooo much more stuff to list. Not looking to get rich by no means, just a little extra $$$ every so often. I am going to have to open a saving/checking account though lol to keep that $$$ seperate from our other. Otherwize it gets spent as quickly as it comes. Yup...lol I love Ebay!!!

Ugh!!!

I can tell you right now, I am going to hate using our cellphones for the internet until we get actual DSL. The signal sux!!! And what really sux is there is actually a Verizon tower here in Southwest City. Grr!!! But with everything else coming due, the actual DSL may have to wait :( so I will just have to grin and bare it for now.

Spending $$$ we don't have on sh*t we don't need...

I never realized until here recently that I am an emotional shopper. Especially if I am depressed. And then I get even more depressed if we don't have $$$ to spend :( Nothing major. I would be quite content with $5 right now. And it is driving me nuts we don't have it!!! Nobody is  to blame. We had bills to pay and the move. Just sucks :( I guess maybe I am a spoiled brat after all.

We are moved :)

Thank the Gods!!! I am actually excited about being back at my family home. Not so much having to live with my mom again, but hey!!! At least the stress of having to worry about losing the house is gone. And mom is getting pretty bad. I give her til maybe fall and then she won't physically be able to work anymore. And that's stretching it, I think. The cartilage in her wrists is completely gone. Total bone on bone there and it's hurting her pretty bad. She can't hardly use them now without it killing her. Then sometime soon she has to go in for cataract surgery. She.is almost completely blind in her left eye and that's the good one!!!

I have also come to realize how tiring it is going to be to have to stay on top of the kids. They have a really bad habit of just leaving stuff out and not picking up after themselves. Yes, I know I am to blame because I have pretty much done it for them their entire lives. But I think they are old enough to start doing it for themselves. And with that said...we will see. Sometimes it is just sooooo much easier to do it myself than to wait on or have to argue with someone else to get it done.

Our room is tiny lol but we have plans to turn the garage into one, if not two, more rooms. It will take probably about $3000 to do it right. If we can just hang tough til next tax time *sigh* it shouldn't be an issue. Fingers crossed that Rick actually keeps his job long enough to file taxes *rolls eyes*

I am loving not having the Crowley inside. I love the brute, but I really just don't have the patience to house break a puppy. Especially one that  poops like a damned horse!!! Gross!!! Not too mention mom already has 3 smaller inside dogs. Yeah. Doggy overload!!!

But really that's about it for now. Think I am getting ready to call it a night. Curl up in my nice comfy bed and enjoy the fact that I don't have to go to sleep with the non too pleasant aroma of mildew to keep me awake.

Have a wonderful night. XoxoxoxoX

R.I.P Gremmy :'(

Gremmy was hit by a car tonight and was killed :'( I am so heartbroken over this loss. He was a part of our family and will be missed sooooooo much. My heart hurts sooooooo bad right now.

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Life at this moment blows chunks...

Well, guess what? We are moving yet again :'( I love the house we are in and have wanted it forever, but the landlord is pulling some douchy moves. Like trying to get us to pay for water and electric overages that are not our fault. Grr!!! There's no way that's even conceivable that it could be. So, we will be out Friday hopefully. Going to rent a U-Haul and put most everything in storage and call it good. Sucky part? We are having to move back in with my mom. Ugh!!! Not looking forward to it at all, but as of right now we really don't have a choice. On the plus side, we won't lose my dad's house. Mom is getting pretty bad and probably won't be able to work much longer. So, that's one security issue I won't have. Now, if we can just survive without killing each other!!!

Our cell phones will be shut off April 4. Which really really really sux!!! I am not sure as to why either. I don't think they explained to Derek clearly either. But since they are disconnecting us early, they are charging us penalties for it. WTF?!?

National came and got our new desktop and our beautiful TV. But I am pretty sure we are going to be getting them back within the next few weeks. Hopefully. Cell phones and internet have to come first, because I have stuff going on Ebay that I cannot get out of right now.

Just when things start looking up again...ugh!!! So, sick of it!!! I know we aren't the only ones having troubles. But it hits pretty hard when it is you. I rey to keep an open mind and a positive outlook on things, but truthfully it's really hard to do at times. I feel as though I have reached my maximum for discouraging situations. I just keeping thinking it has to get better soon right? Man, I hope so :'(

Anyways, that's what is going on. Hopefully if I do lose internet connection, it won't be for long. I will not only be screwed but I will actually go crazy I believe lol. It is pretty much my lifeline to those close to me.

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So not ready for summer :(

It's only March and our temperatures are already reaching the upper 80's and 90's!!! This has me worried. Especially after the lack of winter that we had. I hate the heat anyways, so knowing that this could very well be a worse summer than last, makes me sad. It was almost too hot to do anything. Went to the creek a couple times last year, but it was too hot to spend any real time out. We couldn't go camping :( not with the temperatures at night sitting in the mid 90's all night. That would have made for a seriously miserable time. And it isn't looking so good for this year already. Ugh!!! The only plus is that we actually live closer to the water this summer, but I am thinking it's going to be too hot to let the kids walk the less than a mile to salvation. Cabin fever here we come :(

I am also hoping that this AC unit we do have is going to be enough to keep us cool. It got to 90° today and stayed fairly decent upstairs. Downstairs for the most part stays cooler than up. But will it be enough when the scorching heat is constant? Most of the windows upstairs do NOT open. Or come out to put in another window unit in. Except maybe in the diningroom. So, I dunno, how well this is going to go. I already know that I am going to have to invest in ALOT of aluminum foil and duct tape to get these windows at least somewhat weatherized. BAH!!!

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